It’s Not Just Us. It’s All of Us.

By Brian Donahue

Sometimes change begins with a question from your child. For me, it was a question from my daughter after we attended a faith community meeting where a speaker shared his experience growing up in Rocky Hill, Connecticut. He was an honor-roll student who wanted to go to college, but he said his high school did not provide him with information about college or other opportunities after graduation. Instead, he felt he was being prepared primarily for the labor market.

My daughter was quiet on the ride home. I asked her what was wrong. She told me that she had books in her classroom with characters who looked like her. She had teachers who looked like her. But her two younger adopted siblings, who are biracial and have darker skin, did not have the same experience.

Then she asked me: What are you going to do about it? That question stayed with me.

I am a social worker who has spent 33 years working with children and families. I have also spent much of my life advocating for changes that affect children and families, from adoptee access to original birth certificates to ending child marriage. I knew how systems worked. I knew how to sit at a table with professionals and policymakers. But I also knew that being a parent meant seeing these issues differently. I was not just looking at a system. I was looking at my children.

(Picture: Brian Donahue from Not Just Us and partners from the Connecticut Association of School Librarians)

Families should not have to fight alone

I began asking questions about what my children were experiencing in their schools and community. When I met with the superintendent, I wanted to understand what students of color were seeing and experiencing in their classrooms. Were they able to find books that reflected who they were? Did they have teachers who looked like them? And when the district was hiring, was it doing enough to reach diverse candidates? The answers raised even more questions.

I learned that while books featuring students of color were available, they were kept in the library, meaning students had to know to ask for them. There were no teachers of color in the classrooms, and the district’s approach to recruiting teachers was not reaching the diverse candidates our students needed to see. It became clear to me that these were not challenges one family could solve alone. More importantly, they were challenges no family should have to navigate alone.

Around that same time, the murder of George Floyd sparked protests and difficult conversations about racial inequity across the country, including in our own community. I expected those conversations to continue and lead to meaningful dialogue about the experiences of children and families. 

When that did not happen, I decided to create the space myself. I started bringing people together.

During the pandemic, I organized virtual community conversations with families, legislators, community organizations, faith leaders, and others. We talked about what children and families were experiencing and, more importantly, what we could do about it. The goal was simple: bring people together, make space for every voice, and ensure every child had the opportunity to thrive. Those conversations led to action.

A teacher of color was hired. A diversity consultant was brought in to assess the needs of students of color and make recommendations to the school board. The town supported the creation of a Commission on Inclusion and Innovation. We also created opportunities for community conversations around inclusion, recreation, and belonging. But I knew our work could not stop there.

Then something bigger happened

People outside our town began asking if they could participate in the conversations.Then more people heard about the meetings. What started as local conversations became a statewide movement. And that movement became Not Just Us.

Today, Not Just Us includes more than 1,000 members across Facebook groups throughout Connecticut, along with hundreds of additional allies who participate in meetings and events. We have hosted 30 in-person events across the state and countless virtual conversations that bring families, students, organizations, faith leaders, community groups, and advocates together. We are not a formal 501(c)(3) or 501(c)(4). We are volunteers who believe something fundamental:

Families should have a say in the decisions that shape their children’s lives and their communities.

Not Just Us works to address the systemic inequalities that create barriers to children and families meeting their basic needs. That includes educational, medical, spiritual, recreational, and nutritional needs. We advocate alongside families of color, families of children with disabilities, families of diverse faiths, Indigenous families, LGBTQIA+ families, and families experiencing economic hardship. But our work is not only about advocacy. It is about connection.

(Picture: Brian Donahue, Connecticut partners and National Parents Union meeting for the 2026 Connecticut Parent Week of Action)

One of the biggest challenges we discovered was that organizations and resources often did not know about one another. Sometimes resources existed in the same community but operated in separate worlds. Families were left trying to figure it all out. A family might need educational support, health services, food assistance, recreational opportunities, or help navigating another system. The resources might exist, but if organizations did not know one another existed, families could not easily find what they needed. That is one of the barriers Not Just Us is working to tear down.

We bring people together so organizations can learn about each other’s work, build relationships, share resources, and ultimately strengthen families. Because families should not have to become experts in navigating disconnected systems just to make sure their children have what they need to succeed.

Families are experts, too

Too often, families are asked to weigh in after the decisions that affect their children have already been made. We believe families need to be part of the conversation from the beginning.

Parents know their children in a way no one else can. Students know what it feels like to live and learn in their classrooms. Families see firsthand where systems are working and where they are falling short. And community organizations know the resources that can help, as well as the gaps that too many families are left to navigate on their own.

When we bring those experiences together, we move beyond talking about what families need and start building solutions with the people who know those needs best.

That is what makes the relationship between Not Just Us and the National Parents Union so meaningful to me. We share a belief that families should not just be part of the conversation. Their experiences and ideas should help shape what happens next.

The National Parents Union understands that parents are not just stakeholders. Parents are leaders, advocates, experts, and decision-makers.

That belief is at the heart of what we are building.

The name Not Just Us came from recognizing that the challenges my family experienced were never only about my family. They were bigger than us. And when we began listening, we discovered that families across Connecticut were facing their own versions of the same barriers. That realization changed everything.

There is power when individuals come together for the good of all children and families. There is power when we stop asking, “How do I solve this problem for my family?” and start asking, “How do we change the system so families don’t have to face this problem alone?”

(Picture: Brian Donahue, founder of Not Just Us)

I know there is still so much work ahead. I also know that none of us can do it alone.

Every child should have the opportunity to learn, to feel seen and valued, and to have the support they need to thrive. Families should not have to struggle to find the resources or support their children need. And parents should have a real voice in the decisions that shape their children’s education and future.

That is why I keep showing up. It is why I keep connecting people, creating spaces for honest conversations, and bringing families and communities together. There is more work to do, but I believe we are stronger when we do it together.

Because it is Not Just Us. It is all of us.

Brian Donahue is a social worker, advocate, and founder of Not Just Us, a Connecticut-based parent and community advocacy group focused on connecting families, addressing inequities, and strengthening communities. Brian has 33 years of experience working with children and families in Connecticut and has served as a social work supervisor since 2002. He holds a Master of Social Work from Southern Connecticut State University and is a father, adoptive parent, and former foster parent. His advocacy includes serving as Vice President of Access Connecticut for Adoptee Rights, founding member of the Connecticut Coalition to End Child Marriage, and serving on the Board of Directors of the National Foster Parent Association. Through Not Just Us, Brian brings families, advocates, organizations, and community leaders together to connect resources, address barriers, and ensure families have a voice in the decisions affecting their children and communities. Brian is an active member of NPU’s Parent Power Collective.